I have to stay...that is something I have never done before. Staying is a commitment. Its hard. Why is it so hard? Like moving, why do we feel the need to move? Why don't we stay? or What about relationships? Why do we give up so easily? Why do we call it quits? I mean is it cuz there really are differences or we just think that all relationships are perfect and there is no such thing as fights?
I need to stay...I need to commit myself to something. Possibly something important. Sometimes i feel so lost. Sometimes I feel like I don't understand why I think the way I do. I might be ruining my own life, cuz I think that is the only way to go.
I am too complicated for myself.
I adore your sentiment Sunny, "I am too complicated for myself." What an insightful observation; it is a rare and fleeting level of consciousness where we see ourselves as actors moving to an impromptu beat of our emotions. The rhythm and tone of this beet seems beyond our control yet we are nonetheless compelled to stay one dance step ahead of it for fear that if we loose to the beat we will fall to the ground spilling all of the dark secrets and hidden truths of our das Es.
ReplyDeleteSo instead of controlling the beat of our emotions and desires we are forced to react to them; we feel happy so we sing instead of singing to be happy, and we cry because we are sad instead of crying because it is time to be sad.
Our first goal then should be to recognize this awkward performance for what it is. Whit such knowledge comes control. The control manifests itself in the form of an emotional precognition of sorts, where when feel the rhythm of the beat and can anticipate its flow and with its flow we become partners with it; we feel sad when the beat is somber but when the time of solace has passed, we change the dance and the music will follow. We change the dance and the music will follow.
Where are you staying?
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